We had been given a week. Just a week to decide if we were going to pursue the Indonesia idea.
We knew this was a decision which couldn’t be based solely on emotion (me) or logic (Michael Joe). We desired to be square in His will alone.
We decided to be specific in our prayers that week and seek His face alone. We knew we needed to clear out all of ‘us’ and let Him show us what He wanted.
Then came Tuesday. Lunchtime.
(Disclaimer: It is basically impossible to describe God shaking your world in mere words. Here is a my wee attempt.)
I decided to hide in my room during my lunch breaks that week and spend extra time with Him. Lights off. The song ‘Defender’ by Rita Springer was on repeat. My little office-classroom became a sanctuary and God filled every nook and cranny. I poured out my heart and He answered every plea, excuse, and cry of my heart with a simple sentence reminding me He had covered all my mistakes on the cross. The fears I had now were nothing compared to that. And He said ‘Release’.
“Lord, I’m undone. I’m just so unable to see (the) how but this song says ‘All I did was praise. All I did was worship. All I did was bow down. All I did was stay still.’ There’s no ME doing anything. Release.” (excerpt from journal)
I exited this time knowing two things. One, He was giving us permission to go. Two, that I was not to force or persuade Michael Joe. God was handling every detail-big & small. All I had to do was release.